Hit me with your best shot!
It was time for me to put on my big bard… big skald? Pants and go out head to head… neck to neck.. Voice to voice with the best that the east kingdom had to offer. Fuzzy hat? Check! Brooches! (or as some call them, nipple shields)? Czech… I mean CHECK! Documentation? 2 pages…. Check! Repertoire? Checkkkkkkk.
Lets back up a little bit. The week prior to the event, several of my friends, peers, peerfriends had asked if I was competing in King and Queens Bardic competition. I’d frequent statements like, “Oh, it’s too far” or “I’m not good enough” or even “I didn’t know … I got nothin’”. Finally, it was 5 days prior to the event, when I somehow got swindled into competing and agreed. I sent in my email of intent to compete… a whopping 4 hours before the deadline.
The Friday before the event, I drove to Lady Olivia’s abode and realized.. ACK! I had forgotten my documentation on my desk at work. Thank goodness I has a smart and save all my documentation in cloud form. The new task was making sure her printer actually did a thing. A bottle of mead later, we had a working printer and mostly legible documentation.
The day of the event, I wandered lost, gripping my styrofoam cup of milk of gods… dunkin doughnuts coffee in one hand and the other clung to an eggwhite sandwich. I wandered the beautiful venue, gathering myself and aimlessly looking to where troll was. I maybe knew a few familiar faces, but the queen and kings bards were not amongst them. I eventually stumbled on them.
As I anxiously waited for the competition to begin, I was blessed to have more familiar faces there on site. Lady Ada happened to have a fidget cube which she sacrificed for me to calm my nerves. The time had come and my name was called for my first piece. I started by speaking about the piece itself, the translation literal than poetic and then made a -just barely- off color joke. I think the audience received this well. Racing through my head, hidden behind my pleasant facade, was thoughts of “Oh, Viking persona… how well can she sing?” “Oh, she told a joke… she must be compensating”. Even the king himself looked distracted and less than interested at the moment. It was time, I opened my mouth and the room seemed to lull into a hush. My heart stopped at the end of the cadenza when the applause filled the room. Almost immediately after the first round was over, several individuals approached me with tokens. I was astounded. I have never received more than one at a time at an event, ever. I thanked everyone graciously for their tokens and then wandered into the A and S display to calm my mind a little bit.
Round 2, fight! It was time to announce of the 16 competitors, who could be moving on. My name was called as one of the last few announced and my heart hit the floor in gratitude. Now it was time to regain my composure for round 2. I had a stories prepared to show that I was more diverse than just a vocalist. Albeit, I only have 1 story to tell, but damnit I am going to tell it.
I approached as my name was called, and called for the biggest, bravest individuals in the audience to join me. Let’s face it, we bards are hams. I had about 9-10 folks join me. I left their participation description to the end and informed the audience of their parts in my story. Again, fighting the urge to self deprecate myself in my own mind I pushed on. The story roared for about 13 minutes (4 minutes longer than I had planned) and again, a thunderous applause.
Wise guy remarks were dropped to me from the Prince afterwards and I felt good about myself. The final 4 were to be announced, but my name had not been called. That was ok. I felt good about my work. Another several individuals approached me and presented me with tokens, and two more had IOUs for me. The King himself was amongst those who had presented me with their token. I was in shock and awe. I’ll take it!
I approached the current reigning bards for feedback so I’d be ready for next year. I was told my documentation was spot on, my vocal performance was stellar, but my story was too long. I was however, told that I was a fantastic story teller. They asked me if I had more, to which I said, “No, this is my one and only, which I have only performed 2 times prior”. I was encouraged to continue singing and of course storytelling.
This may have not made me KIng or Queen’s bard, but I went home a winner!
Meddlings of the Minnesinger 